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Josh Kazali and Sona Wink
Did You See Santa Claus?
By Josh Kazali and Sona Wink Affirmative: HARK! Do ye seek Santa Claus? Aye, I’ve seen the white beard. Sit down, ye shivering boy,...
Ava Lozner and Schuyler Daffey
Are You Locked in?
By Ava Lozner and Schuyler Daffey Illustration by Emma Finkelstein Affirmative: Gemma scarfs down the remainder of her John Jay omelet...
Maya Lerman and Ava Lozner
Am I an Academic Weapon?
By Maya Lerman and Ava Lozner Affirmative I still can’t believe I’m here at Columbia, my dream school! To stand here on Low Steps, in the...
The Blue and White Magazine
Is This a Columbia Dining Event?
By Lucia Dec-Prat and Ava Lozner Illustration by Ellie Hodges Affirmative When I chose my first-year dining plan, I knew what I wanted:...
Dominic Wiharso and Josh Kazali
Do you know my secret?
Affirmative: By Dominic Wiharso Word travels fast. If you don’t want something spreading around, it’s in your best interest to lock that...
Amogh Dimri and Molly Leahy
Did You Pass the Background Check?
By Amogh Dimri and Molly Leahy Congratulations on being admitted to INSIDE THE SITUATION ROOM with Former United States Secretary of...
Madison Hu and Miska Lewis
will.i.am?
By Madison Hu and Miska Lewis Affirmative My roommate Lila is drunk in the corner mumbling the classic will.i.am lyric about “screaming...
Stephen Dames and Anna Patchefsky
Is it Core?
By Stephen Dames and Anna Patchefsky Negative: As Professor Martin Hollyoke walks into the steam-heated, overcrowded Hamilton classroom,...
Kelsey Kitzke and Leah Overstreet
God Bless the Queen?
Negative By Leah Overstreet Please? Just for a little longer? I know, I know, this isn’t the first time I’ve asked you to hold off on...
Dariya Subkhanberdina and Will Lyman
Am I in the Mood?
Affirmative By Dariya Subkhanberdina It all began when I was but a wee lass: my raging horniness. By third grade, I knew that I’d spend...
Anouk Jouffret and Becky Miller
Would a Princess Do That?
Affirmative By Becky Miller Yes, a princess would absolutely smack a pigeon between the thighs to assert her dominance over her sidewalk...
The Blue and White Magazine
Did It Hurt?
By Chloë Gottlieb and Hart Hallos [inner monologue] Chloë Gottlieb: It did hurt. It hurt bad. I fear I sprained an ankle, maybe both of...
Eliza Rudalevige and Alexander Aibel
Am I In Trouble?
Negative by Eliza Rudalevige No, you’re not in trouble. I mean, that depends on what your definition of “trouble” is. Do your actions...
Daniel Seizer and Gabe Garon
Does the Grind Ever Stop?
Affirmative by Daniel Seizer, Negative by Gabe Garon.
Sam Needleman and Lyla Triling
Was Your Small Business Absorbed by a Corporate Conglomerate?
Affirmative By Sam Needleman Dear Investors, As president and sole member of the Board of Trustees of SomeOfTheHole™, America’s favorite...
Victor Omojola and Elysa Caso-McHugh
Do These Sound Like Vaccine Side Effects to You?
Affirmative by Victor Omojola, Negative by Elysa Caso-McHugh
Claire Schweitzer and Tarini Krishna
Are You Really Passionate About Your Major?
Affirmative by Claire Schweitzer, Negative by Tarini Krishna
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