Blue Book, Orientation 2017

Transactions

ARRIVALS

Columbia Class of 2021

Fake IDs

The joyous yet insidious start of freshman 15

JJ’s 24 hour?!

President Sian Beilock

DEPARTURES

Columbia Class of 2017

Sean Spicer

Reince Priebus

THE MOOCH!!!

DISAMBIGUATION OF SOCIAL CLIQUES

Here at The Blue and White, we thought it might be helpful to disambiguate the various social groups you’ll nd on campus, so you know exactly where you t in. Some cliques you can recognize from their clothing, others their behavior, yet all Morningside species are distinctive in their own special—if not slightly confusing—way. Here’s our guide to Columbia’s social scene:

 

Activists: You’ll either nd these troops en masse atop Low Steps or around various recycling depots near campus searching for scrap cardboard. Their presence can be marked by incoherent shouting, slogans that all somehow t to the same stagger- ingly annoying jingle, an acute sense of self-righ- teousness that grows stronger as the herd grows larger, and numerous cardboard signs. Friendly to approach if you share their ideals. And only their ideals.

Pledges: The caterpillar to the fratboy butter y, these tragedies can be seen carting 30-racks or low-quality vodka from RiteAid, International, or Morton Williams to either EC or their aspired brownstone. Patterned shirts, particularly of the oral variety, are common, as are a crippling lack of social skills when talking to women, decidedly unimpressive sexual performance, and a constant need for validation from a soon-to-be-brother.

Fiercely territorial, rival pledges should keep their distance.

International students: Just call these students the Chainsmokers. You’ll nd them outside Butler at any hour, usually in a large gathering. In winter, expect Canada Goose; in summer, pungent afflent-smelling cologne and laced loafers. Friendly to approach if you’re non-American, or willing to sell your soul to the Eurotrash way of life.

Athletes: Ever heard of athleisure? Drop the leisure, and you’ve found your athlete. No matter the weather, no matter the occasion, you can always spot an athlete by their head-to-toe armor of unfashionable GoLions! printed stock. You’d think that constant losses might decrease the regularity of team gear parading, but let’s just call it “school spirit.”

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