Curio Columbiana, December 2015

A recent complaint about elevator use in the Carman Hall Facebook group quickly descended into Columbia self-parody. With names changed, what follows is the whole slow-motion car crash. 

Olive Yu There seems to be a very serious epidemic plaguing Carman Hall. The people on the lower floors like 3 and 4 just can’t seem to take the stairs. I wish that I could take the stairs and be in the lobby in a matter of seconds. However, I can’t. The amount of time I have to wait for the elevator nowadays because I live on the 11th floor is simply absurd. The elevators are in high demand and if you can take the stairs, please just take them. Or you can get death glared by me for a good 10 seconds. Your choice.

Edit: Okay guys I didn’t expect this to become such a flame war. Let me put it in a different way. I don’t care if you use the elevator during the weekend if you’re on a lower floor. Honestly. But when it’s during the school week and people are on tight schedules and we have so many elevator usage it makes life more difficult. I just wanted to raise awareness of the feelings of those who live on higher floors, during the school days. I am not trying to oppress anyone’s elevator usage. I am only asking for empathy within our community.

Ed Itorial and 9 others like this. 

Anna Lytics Are you serious

Louls Ville Who are you? Fuck this. America is the land of the free.

Ed ltorial And also of obesity (…if yo ass is takin’ da lift to da lower floors). Let’s jus’ try to do the right thing, kna’l’mean

Anna Lytics What

Louis Ville You calling me fat? You calling the girls on floor 3/4 fat? Mate, let me give you a wake up call, they are fit and hot as fuck

Sven Gineer I also don’t appreciate your appropriation of the Ebonic vernacular

Ed ltorial Mate I’m just keeping it real. I ain’t called nobody fat; but it’s a possibility I ain’t willing to rule out. Stay fit, take the stairs.

Lynn Guini remember; these people are our neighbors. Everyone has those types of days when they don’t want to walk up any amount of stairs, accept their presence and make the most of it.

Barney Cull Especially after 5 hours of training

Peter Pants ^ PREACH

Ed ltorial Lynn Guini I expected better of you. I think we need to take a stand against injustice and quite frankly, an obvious manifestation of (some peoples’) privilege. It’s time to get up, stand up; stand up for our rights. get up, stand up; it’s only five damn flights 1&3

Olive Yu I am completely fine with people taking the elevator to the third or fourth floor if they’re having a crappy day. But everyone is using the elevator now. We have to reach back to our traditional Carman roots and have stair users and elevator users.

Sven Gineer I wish I could get an 11 floor stair workout every day, but instead I have to settle for 3. Check your privilege bruh

Cooke Edoh Bro I would just quit now and take the L. You lost on this one

Louls Ville 1st amendment.

Ed ltorial ^ still triflin’ bruh

Barney Cull Please stop talking like that. It’s offensive

Marvin Gardens Who are yall to criticize how I talk; who tf imposed an embargo on language? I’m just keepin’ it one hunnit flat out

Anna Mull When when you’re clearly saying something with the intent to mock a group of people it’s not cool or funny

Reggie Stration http://www.Iinguisticsociety.org/what-is-ebonics-african-american-english

Marvin Gardens Maybe come talk to me before you pass judgement ha dig

Reggie Stration I grew up in an African-American community where AAE was used often, I had the privilege of going to a private school where I basically had to unlearn AAE because I was looked down upon because of it. At school they called me “ghetto” because of the way I spoke until I started to talk like them. Even here at Columbia l shy away from using my slang because I want people to perceive me as “smart.” Using African American English is probably easier for you Holly Graham because you have never had to experience the racism behind it. For kids like me I have a very complicated relationship with my language because I was judged for it. You can say things like keepin it hunnin’ and have no judgement passed on you for it because you are white and privileged. Just like white people can keep appropriating black culture as if it makes them cool while black people have been shamed for those same things. Please don’t think I am attacking you, I just think you would do better knowing this. And as a future military officer, I think it’s important that you understand what different cultural sensitivities there are among people and how to better build a community of unity.

Anna Mull bruh you just got wrecked

Marvin Gardens Again, I invite you to come speak to me before you judge how I choose to speak. You’re not the only one who has had to change how they speak. But thank you for sharing, I do apologize if I offended you, and respect your opinion. I only ask that you respect mine in turn.

Reggie Stration I don’t think I understand your opinion, all I’ve seen is “you can’t tell me how to speak” in response to multiple people telling you that how you’re speaking is offensive. If you have a reason for speaking this way I would love to hear it.

Ken Tucky Olive Yu, I don’t take the elevator but I’ll start to just for you, and I have a feeling everyone on floor 3 and 4 will start to as well hope you’ll enjoy our 10 second death stares too. Thanks for the defense Louis Ville and Anna Lytics. #floor3forlife next time try not being so rude. I’m sure we would’ve had more compassion if there was a please or sincerity in your message instead of threatening us with “your choice.”

Sara Bellum Look, I wasn’t trying to be threatening. And it is hard. When you have to wait 5 minutes for the elevator and then it messes up what time you get to class. And there was a “please” in my message. The people on the lower floors honestly, do not understand the feelings of the people on the higher floors.

Ty Pryder Lol you probably thought you were gonna get so many likes on this

Ray Diation If your desire to get to the lobby is so urgent, you should probably consider taking the stairs.

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