It is the stated goal of Curio Columbiana to cull from Alma Mater’s obvious and less obvious collections of great works. In this number, we present excerpts from the logs of a recent campus fraternity’s Facebook group message, in which they strategize their “clan” on the iPhone app “Clash of Clans,” a video game targeted at children. Names have been removed.
[Redacted] named the conversation: CoCK.
so psyched to be here
Are we warring soon or can I practice my skills and expend all my troops? I’m rusty
promote me back u bitch
im a founding member
Also, UNBAN ME FUCKERS
sent u an invite
lol did u get it u btich
Gentlemen we’re in business
Welcome to the International Clan of Beta Rho Omega, a gathering of upstanding gentlemen and ruthless invaders.
lets invade in a few days tho, im tryna make tweaks
Damn boy try to save that clan castle one dragons are a bitch to train
why are you using your clan castle to farm fuckboi
you should replace your central elixir storage with your clan castle
otherwise, they could just use rogue archers to get an easy 50% on you
[Redcated] i gotchu with wizards
I already gave you wizards, my bad bro
I realized man. My fault, should have told the boys earlier. Feel bad for wasting your zards
wuts the plan in terms of bases were hitting
Dude just blitzkrieg
trying to finish up this marketing case. Will analyze when i get out
i have lvl 2 hogs not sure if that’s worth it
you got much better troops than level 2 hogs. lvl 3 dragons right?
yo sorry yah my army is kinda weak but i have barb king and Mad tactics
IMPORTANT PUT UR GODDAMN BASES INSIDE UR WALLS ALL THE WAY
someone call [redacted] and tell him to put his base
his baby bro has to know that war bases are completely independent of what he sees on the screen
or [Redacted] is going to go overhead press his house while Trap Lord bench press reps his baby bro
[Redacted] i literally jizzed in my pants when i saw ur new base
you basically combined me and [redacted]’s bases to get a hybrid
i studied the greats its like me and [redacted] had a CoC baby
Who’s the fucker donating giants
and then make the rest archers and barbarians and send them all in after the tanks
are you familiar with that strategy?
bc if you dont know how to do it, then it can go awry very quickly
ya ive been studying it for hours
hey I will be attacking late – can I have troops for defense? whatever shit you don’t want
Tell me if you guys need witches, hogs, golems, etc. for your castle
I’ll donate the rest of wizs. i got wizzies brewing
Guys can I just pay my dues to clash of clans next semester and get us a base so good we’ll be unstoppable
Raiding like fam fam
none of them are capable of hog rushing us—it all comes down to whether their other guys are online
2 minutes, holy shit balls
If they dont attack right now they wont have time
dude i think we’re good. congrats boys
Everyone satisfied with their loot?
no gimme more loot
i think we’re overthinking this