Digitalia Columbiana, April 2015

These excerpts were culled from documents left on Columbia’s lab computers. We encourage our readers to submit their own digitalia finds to us, via email, at bwgossip@columbia.edu.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a recent graduate of Barnard College of Columbia University, I am writing to express my interest in the Publishing Assistant position. Having studied English in college and therefore devoured pages upon pages of Penguin publications, I am particularly interested in working for Penguin Group USA. […]

As the Musical Arranger and Musical Director of Bacchantae, a Barnard/Columbia all-female a cappella group, I broke down popular music and independent music alike to create exciting pieces to then teach and perform with the group. My experience with music—from playing percussion in Columbia University Orchestra to Bacchantae—has influenced my love of successful collaboration and creative thinking.

I have gained experience in a variety of professional settings and would like to put my talents to use in an organization with a legacy of commitment to finding and supporting great works of literature. […] Most of all, I am enthusiastic and look forward to new experiences.

I am confident that my background as well as my dedication would make me an asset to Penguind [sic] Group USA. I would love the opportunity to be part of such an encouraging and influential company.

Confirmation Policy (from the hotel booking of a J-School event)

The purpose of this agreement by either policy is subject to acts of God, or war, government regulations, disaster, strikes, civil disorder, curtailment of transformation facilities or other emergencies that make it inadvisable, illegal, or impossible to provide the facilities or to hold the event.

An email from a WKCR alum to the entire listserv regarding recent fundraising procedures:

Dear Comrades:

Doing the Fundraiser as you have planned would be diastrous [sic]. Doing any on-air fundraising before December would be diastrous [sic], too.

I had explained this well to some of you and your predecessors.

Feel free to ignore my advice and to delay/avoid any conferring with me on such a momentous matter.

I have raised as much money and run as many successful on-air fundraisers as anyone who has ever lived.

I have kept KCR in the Black for over 40 years.

In short: DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY ON-AIR FUNDRAISERS UNTIL DECEMBER 2015

then, do a one-two punch:

December: Bach Festival Fundariser [sic]

Top of the year (Jan 2016) all out

Our station encounters jeopardy—different ones, too—on a regular basis. Dismantling a wise long term fundraising planning would add an additional crisis; perhaps the one that will take us down.

Be Careful,

Phil

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